The Diary Of A Teenage Tragedy

wow... i got back from my sisters reception today and we were there from like 2:30 till 9:00 it was crazy...are receptions usually that long... shitttt. I'm feeling slightly useless and my heart feels heavy... Does that ever happen to you. I just found out that this guy i had been really good friends with (then we fought and made up again and we were getting pretty "close" if you catch my drift) is dating a girl he rejected once when we were really good friends a while ago... it kinda hurts. i don't know why seeing as to how i'm over him (i am). I don't know just i kinda thought we had a chance together. God, who am i kidding. Have you ever wanted anyone so bad that you have to assume the feeble position or sometimes you'll remember things he's said to you when he actually cared about you and it's suddenly harder to breathe or someone will remind you of him and you have to leave the room bc it hurts to much to be that close to him and not actually be near him. God, i'm in deep. I don't know how i'm gonna get through this school year i'm humongously fat. I have gottttttt to stop eating so much. Somedays i actually like to look sick. Sometimes i like to be pale and gaunt with big circles under my eyes. It makes people think "maybe she's not who we think". I wanna be the pretties wreck anyone's ever seen. Ever. I will be stunning by the end of the summer. Trust me. Anyway i'm gonna go to be. Wish me luck. Night.